[nagilum]

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Vin Diesel and forgot to pay him back.

And on the Eighth day, God created Vin Diesel...and ran the fuck away in fear of what he had done.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

When Vin Diesel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.

When Vin Diesel put on the One Ring, the Nazgul just said, "Fuck it."

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

When Vin Diesel plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

Only once has Vin Diesel ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.

Vin Diesel became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants. (faust)